Monday, December 5, 2011
December 5-11, Last Week!
Over the years of my working with students, one of the lifetime goals most mentioned is "happiness." I worry about happiness goals because I'm not sure if we know what happiness is or when we have accomplished this goal. I just read a book on the topic, Authentic Happiness, by Martin Seligman. He is a psychologist who actually teaches college courses on this topic. The following are some excerpts from his text. Please read these excerpts, think about them and add your comments.
Excerpts from Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman:
Real happiness comes from identifying, cultivating and using your personal strengths in work, love, play and parenting. Seligman contrasts happiness with hedonism. He says that a hedonist "wants as many good moments and as few bad moments as possible in life." He states that hedonism is a shortcut to happiness that leaves us feeling empty. For example, we often assume that more material possessions will make us happy. However, the more material possessions we have, the greater the expectations and we no longer appreciate what we have.
Seligman suggests some ideas to increase happiness. 1. Realize that the past does not determine your future. The future is open to possibilities. 2. Be grateful for the good events of the past and place less emphasis on the bad events. 3. Build positive emotions through forgiving and forgetting. 4. Work on increasing optimism and hope for the future. 5. Find out what activities make you happy and engage in them. Spread these activities out over time so that you will not get tired of them. 6. Take the time to savor the happy times. 7. Take time to enjoy the present moment. 8. Build more flow into your life. Flow is the state of gratification we feel when totally absorbed in an activity that matches our strengths.
Write your comments on these ideas. What does happiness mean to you?
Share some of your intention statements for the future. You can make two posts of 100 words each or one post of 200 words.
Your blogs have been inspiring and awesome. Best wishes for the future!
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What does happiness mean to me? Happiness can and does mean many things when thinking about my future and where I want to be in my future. Happiness to me mean that I will be in a successful career that I can depend on and that can be self fullfilling to me. Happiness to me is knowing what I want out of life and being able to attain that. Happiness to me also means that I want to be in a successful relationship with someone. I want to be able to find someone that I can have deep, meaningfu conversations with and someone I can also just have fun times with. Happiness to me also means that I can be an independent person and depend on myself, take responsibility for myself, rather than depending on others.
ReplyDeleteFor my second blog post, I would like to make some intention statements that will be very important in having a successful future. I intend to be a healthy person. I intend to complete college and get a degree in sociology. I intend to finally learn how to drive, therefore I can become more independent. I intend to get a well paying job, that I can pursue as a lifelong career. I intend to be with someone who can make me happy and be with someone I can have a successful relationship with. I intend to meet and deveiop new friends and relationships so I can have a supportive group of friends that can help me get through troubled times I may exprience in my life.
ReplyDeleteHappiness to me means that you wake up in the morning without a worry in the world and look forward to the day. I believe that if someone is not happy they need to do something about it not just mope around complaining or being sad. I was not happy with the job I had so I decided to do something about it so I quit and decided to finish up my schooling. I am not happy yet because I haven’t found a good job but maybe after I receive my associate’s degree I can work my way there. Although I am not happy I am not sad either I guess I am satisfied at the moment. I am just glad that I am doing something about it and that I have not given up on school.
ReplyDeleteI plan to find a good job after I finish school so that I can build my life the way I want it to be, successful. I like to surround myself with positive people so that I can stay on track and so I will not get side tracked. I am grateful that my family and I are in good health and that we have a roof over our head. When ever I feel down about personal situations I like to compare my life to that of the less fortunate because most of the time we are not in that bad of shape compared to others.
Carrie Ducharme
ReplyDeleteWhat does happiness mean to me? Happiness means a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. Right now in my life I am extreme happy with where I am in my career and family life. I value my time with my family and try to take in everything and enjoy it. Living in the moment and as if each day might be the last. I have so many things that I would like to accomplish before I parish that I try to cross of thing from my list often. I am trying to teach my children to forgive and forget as dwelling on the issue is not going to fix it and make it go away. I try to make doing homework, chores, and other things that are typically boring fun. We do a lot of laugh which is really healthy and makes you feel good. I am also trying to teach my children to find the good (or fun) in everything. My saying is I CAN I WILL. If my children are being negative I say YOU CAN YOU WILL and if you don't then you won't be able to determine if it can be fun or if you will make it fun. If the girls are having a hard time with an assignment I try to come up with something creative to help them complete the assignment. For example my youngest daughter hated reading her assigned reading assignments because she was not a best or faster reader in her class. I told my daughter to read the story once loud to us with a British accent and then once to herself and read it slowly reviewing what she read after each paragraph. After laughing out of control from her attempt to read it with a British accent, she read the story to herself and was able to complete her assignment for class. Now we have her read the story to herself first and them try to read it with different accents. She is starting to enjoy reading and her reading is excelling. I think living life to its fullest and laugh often is really important.
What does happiness mean to me? It means many things, but most importantly to me happiness equals family and friends. Having them means more to me than having a new car, more than having all the shoes I could have (and more likely not use). Spending time with my family and friends is happiness, especially during the holidays. Happiness is also having good health. What good is it having a lot of money when you don’t have anyone to share it with. Many times because you are not sure if someone is with you because of your money or because they really care for you. What good is having a lot of money if you have poor health? Never having time to take care of yourself because you are always working and on the go. Having to be with people you really don’t care for at Christmas. It is not worth having a lot of money if you don’t have family and friends in your life.
ReplyDelete2nd Post: My intentions.
ReplyDeleteI intend to be healthy; exercising as much as possible, eating less junk food and getting regular checks ups. This is only for myself but for my children, to be there when they graduate college, get married and have children of their own.
I intend to spend more time with my children, especially with my daughter who is starting her teenage years and will need me more, but also giving her space.
I intend to complete college and be an example to others – it is never too late to return to school.
I intend to do more relaxation techniques. Relax before getting frustrated and then returning to complete task at hand.
Happiness means the world to me the money isn’t the key to happiness but you do need to survive but you don’t have to be rich to be happy. I love to have family and friends to be there for me and as well as I to them they make me happy. Forgiving and forgetting the entire negative will cleanse our mind and body and just move along always made me feel relieved. One day I hope to meet someone that I feel will go that extra mile for me as I would do too, be in a committed relationship with my full-time friend and a part-time lover that would mean the world to me that would make me smile and we can have a fun and amazing life together with little babies running around that would make me happy. I want my family to be happy and not stress out anymore I hope to help my parents with their money problems and make them happy with not a care with the world. Ever since the economy went through a black hole my parents been struggling and I’ve been helping them I just hope I can help them some more I really just want my parents live a carefree life and just relax.
ReplyDeleteMy first comment in the blog would be answering, what does happiness mean to you? Happiness to me means being surrounded with love. If there is love, there is happiness. Family and friends are happiness. They are the people that I enjoy spending time with, knowing that they are there for me is the true happiness. Happiness also means being in a good health. Having a good health brings happiness because it means I get to have more time with my family in life. Enjoying every moment of life is true happiness, because a person never knows when that moment is their last. Bright future is happiness. Working in a career of my dreams, having the family of my dreams is what I am looking forward to in my future, and I am very sure it will be happy times.
ReplyDeleteShare some of your intention statements for the future
ReplyDeleteIn my second blog I would like to share some of my intention statements for the future. I intend to eat healthier. I intend to exercise more. I intend to finish my education with my degree. I intend to find a job of my dreams. I intend to meet new people and develop new relationships. I intend to spend more time with my family. I intend to enjoy every moment with the people I love. I intend to help the people who are in need.
Happiness is everything to me; I know that I want to be happy in my life. I want to be a nurse, so I can help people. Helping people makes me happy; therefore, I would be happy with a career helping others. I want to finish college, so I can be successful. Being successful equals happiness for me. I want to have close relationships with my family and good friends. Spending time with them makes me happy. Another thing that makes me happy is when I have the time to do stuff for myself, like spend a day shopping or relaxing at the beach. Also, candy and other sweets make me happy; I love junk food! Playing with my four dogs makes me happy, spending time with my boyfriend makes me happy, and volunteering my time for a good cause makes me happy. I really love helping other people, especially the less fortunate ones. There are very many things that make me truly happy. My happiness is the most important thing to me because I am a very "happy" person. I like thinking positive. A final thing that made me happy was taking this course! I really enjoyed this class and I will use the information I have learned throughout my life, thank you. :)
ReplyDelete-Vanessa Lathan
Happiness means a lot of different things to me. I know that happiness something I have been looking for and I don’t know if I have completely found it yet. Happiness is when there is not a lot of things causing stress in my life. Happiness means that I can wake up and be excited to live each day. It means that I can be around people I love and who love me unconditional. It means that I have the basic things I need to get by in life. I don’t need money or expensive things to be happy. All I need is people who love and care about me deeply and who would always be there for me. Happiness means that I am doing the things in live that I really love. My friends and family make me happy. When I am happy it is usually from spending time with people I care about and just laughing and having fun. Happiness has different aspects and I think having faith in god is a part of my happiness. Without my faith I could not get through a lot of hard times in my life. I also feel like helping other is something that really makes me happy as well.
ReplyDeleteI believe I define happiness for me as being at peace with my God, at peace with family, and myself and those around me. I find happiness as I serve others and make a positive impact in the life of others. I like to believe that we can serve and trigger positive changes with those around us. As I get up every morning, I am happy to have another day of life. My daily mission is to make a positive impact in the life of someone. It is not all about me but it is about how I play a role in this world and how I can be an instrument of positive change. This impact can be in my personal life by starting with a healthy breakfast; it can be at work as I choose to listen empathetically to a student and facilitate his/her process. It can be as simple as choosing to watch a funny TV show with my nephew and enjoy a healthy dose of laughter. I also find happiness as I serve my community by donating my time and or funds for a good cause. I feel truly blessed to have a supportive family and have a career that allows me to serve others.
ReplyDeleteIntention statements…
ReplyDeleteI intend to concentrate on the positive rather than the negative.
I intend to not dwell on the past but rather focus on the present.
I intend to let go of any grievances; by holding onto a grievance one is making the decision to keep suffering.
I intend to focus my efforts on what I can control and let go of the things I can’t.
I intend to value the relationships I have in my life more.
I intend to practice gratitude more; the more grateful one is the more present they become.
I intend to keep a sense of humor about things.
Happiness isn’t just a feeling that comes to you, happiness is a state of mind that you have to work to get and work to maintain. In my opinion happiness is something you create. I have been through heart break, I have lost loved ones, and I have played a pivotal role in the life of a dysfunctional person, I know how difficult it can be to create your own happiness, to look past the overwhelming feelings of despair and depression, but I think the only way to achieve true happiness is to have the will power to actively search for it. Happiness is disallowing upsetting losses and unfair circumstances stand in your way, happiness is finding satisfaction in the littlest things, like afternoon lunches with my dad, and playing card games in the barracks with my boyfriend. Being happy means finding what makes you happy and having the courage and determination to pursue it, happiness is not only when you have amazing friends and family who love you unconditionally, but being at peace with yourself and who you are. I have ups and downs like everyone else, but I consider myself a happy person, not matter what my future holds in store whether it be a masters degree or family, I know that I will be happy because I chose to be so.
ReplyDeleteJeffrey Miller
ReplyDeleteHappiness is not receiving something you've really wanted, nor doing something you'd always wanted to do. Happiness is when you create a life around you that fulfills yourself more fully than you could have ever thought of. True happiness will not leave you bored or tire you out. Happiness will come through rough times and good times. With a family, friends, or co-workers. Happiness isn't necessarily a smile, but contentness with knowing what you do everyday makes you feel satisfied with your life. When you are truly happy the only regrets will be what other direction you could have taken your life, and how much worse it would have been.
Jeffrey Miller
ReplyDeleteI intend to succeed in college and eventually get a Bachelors or even a Masters degree
I intend to create a future for myself that is fulfilling
I intend to create family and friends around myself that create happiness for myself
I Intend to find out what job fulfills the best
I intend to do this job with the best of my abilities
I intend to look at things that will not lead to my failure
I intend to lead a life that I cannot regret
I intend to make others around myself happy
I intend to make something out of myself
Arnulfo Chavarin
ReplyDeleteHappiness. Have happiness. Give happiness. Happiness; is not peace, it is not excitement nor is it joy. Happiness is an embodiment of these three things, compiled up which equal Love. Happiness is the feeling of love: the sparks of the inexpressible sensation which leaves oneself enraptured, but for a moment. It, for example, is like biting into a soft blue berry muffin; feeling joy, peace, and excitement simultaneously: the effect of love. Thus, when a person is happy, be it for whatever reason, there is a love gap being conjoined between the two affiliates. It can be between a person and an object, or from one person to another, even with a tamed pet. However, it is unfortunate that with all of these cases it will be a spatter of moments in which happiness occurs. So then, by deduction, it can be induced that Love is Happiness. Humanity from generation to generation, nations, and people of different tongues, have sought out this ultimate sensation of human experience: the culmination of life’s pursuit, which is happiness. Happiness that endures; happiness that prevails the whiplash of time, happiness that remains constant as fresh as the first time. This happiness can only be given by one who has raised the foundations of existence itself: God. God is Love. He can only give happiness that will always radiate, emit, and pound in a human’s heart. In this I also include my intention statement, in which it sums all other aspects: I intend to fulfill the will of the Lord God Jesus Christ. Give happiness. Have happiness. Hapiness.
Happiness for me is living in touch with nature, having friends I can share good moments and also bad moments. Happiness come from loving my family and my partner and feeling loved. Happiness is feeling productive and feeling alive. In the future I look forward to work in a career of my dreams and also build a family, that will for sure bring me a lot of happiness. Remembering do Forgive and forget is very important for our happiness, it’s hard to live in peace and feel happy without that. For my future I intend to finisih my master dregree and have the carreer of my dreams. I also intend to raise a beautiful family.
ReplyDeleteHappiness for me is living in touch with nature, having friends I can share good moments and also bad moments. Happiness come from loving my family and my partner and feeling loved. Happiness is feeling productive and feeling alive. Remembering do Forgive and forget is very important for our happiness, it’s hard to live in peace and feel happy without that.
ReplyDeleteIn the future I intend to build and raise a family, I also intend to finish my master dregree and have the career of my dream, that will for sure bring me a lot of happiness. I also intend to be more grateful and focus on the positive side of situations. I intend to keep exercising and eat healthy.
What does happiness mean?
ReplyDeleteHappiness is subjective and relative. For some happiness is determined by what they do, what they accomplish or what they have. For others happiness is about contentment, inner-peace and overall well-being.
What does happiness mean to me?
For me happiness means having the love and support of family and friends. Waking up and looking forward to what the day has in store. Happiness to me involves financial and emotional security. Having no stress or turmoil and being surround by those who are going to build you up rather than tear you down. Coming to a place where one realizes life is not perfect but your able to look at the glass as half full and be grateful for all that you have. Having an optimistic and joyful outlook on life rather than a negative outlook. Liking myself, not being dependent on others, looking forward to what the future holds, helping others and laughing. All of these things are what happiness means to me.